The spot of things

I can hardly be called an anorak yet. A slang term, an anorak is a person, typically a man, who has unfathomable interest in arcane, detailed information regarded as boring by the rest of the population, and who feels compelled to talk at length about this information to anyone within earshot.

I must admit becoming close now that I have made this definition, obtained from Wikipedia. I do, to use an overused cliché, tick some of the boxes. I don’t think at this stage I qualify for the full Berghaus.

Why this particular garment is selected must be to do with what was identifiable with people who stood outdoors for long times looking for things. Trainspotters are the group which spring to mind. So much so that wearing an anorak anywhere can immediately identify you as a trainspotter.

But that aside. Why I qualify as part of the anorak gang is that I have taken to spotting Eddie Stobart lorries. When I say “I “, I mean “we”, because it’s Trish, my wife who really started it. Eddie Stobart is really clever. He has a large and always growing (93 added since January this year!) fleet of trucks and trailers which are painted in a distinctive green livery and each one has – and here is the clincher – a woman’s name. Well most of them.

And that is the thing that we collect. The names are written in a little notebook with the date and checked with the Stobart list. No spotter would be without one. The list is to Stobart spotters what an Ian Allen book was to trainspotters.

The spotting takes place when travelling on the motorways and roads as we pass our journey. It’s not too demanding or distracting during a journey. In fact during a three and a half hour journey, the best we’ve done is about ten lorries. We see more, but recording ten is about the limit for us. And that it’s were the difficulty lies. You see, taking that we travel in one direction at about 70mph and the lorries approach at about 50mph that gives a closing speed of 120mph. I calculated that gives a 1.5 second window in which to identify the name written on or above the radiator grill of the truck. Several factors affect how successful we are.

• The length of the name. Sometimes as much as three.
• The unusual nature of the name. Mairey and Maisey look alike at 120mph when viewed from opposite inside lanes of a motorway
• The distance the lorry is from you. If you are in the overtaking lane, you are two lanes nearer.
• The manufacturer of the truck. Scanias tend to have their girl’s name written smaller and on one off the bars of the radiator grill. Volvos and Mercedes trucks have more space above the grill.

You are now beginning to see how the anorak slips on so easily! The game is a team effort, as confirmation of a spot is needed, confirming by reference to the spotters guide to settle the odd letter dispute. Where one of the other names was not identified, but only the first, then only the full name will be recorded as a spot if there is only one lorry with that first name inn the book.

I am getting giddy now. I can feel the constrictions of the anorak as I write. You can record in your Anorak Spotters Guide that you have found another one.