Mind twirling

Perpetual motion has intrigued the minds of many over many years. Something for nothing is what it amounts to thermodynamically. I mention it only as background to two observations from science and apparent real world behaviour.

Cats, they say, always land feet down whenever they fall from a height. I do remember seeing slow motion film of this truism, in which a cat twisted and flicked its body into the position for landing. Some of may know where this is going. The other apparent truism is that a slice of toast, especially, one with jam or marmalade, will always land, when dropped, preservative side down.

Now, what holds my amusement and sets my mind a twirl is what someone said would happen if a slice of such toast was strapped to the back of the cat, jam side up, and the combination dropped from a height. There would simply be no landing. There would be a continuous gravitational struggle between the two items. It would be perpetual motion. I just like to consider this image, which I cannot do without smile.

A recent observation when driving home from Edinburgh has caused a similar mind twirl. A now regular feature of motorways has been the construction of huge electronic notice boards, each known as a matrix. Their laudable purpose is to warn motorists of problems ahead: delays, diversions, lane closures and accidents. Often the information is a little tardy in being up to date, but when the roads are clear and not busy there is a desire to keep the motorists informed and advised.

Thus these expensive road safety feature turns into an electronic nanny, giving vital advice that you had never, ever considered. Most are too tedious to consider; you may have your own favourites for stating the obvious, which is what they tend to do too often.

The phrase that one of these huge, electronic Chinese cookies broadcast which amused me was 'AVOID DISTRACTIONS'. Apart from the obvious - gosh, avoid distractions, how have I got through 40 years of driving without that nugget.

This message to me was the verbal equivalent of the cat with breakfast strapped to its back. The advice is sound, no argument. My mind kept saying that a distraction only becomes such when it succeeds in fulfilling its definition, that is, it distracts you. If it doesn't do this, then it is not a distraction. Thus the notice was futile, concise - yes, but of no use whatsoever.

I will contend that most of these dead time messages are groanworthy, nannyish and a complete waste of resources. The advice 'Avoid Distractions' was, for me a mental distraction, a source of amusement which filled my mind for the next few miles.

If that is their game, why don't they replace their platitudes with a quiz or puzzle for which you could collect clues for from later matrices as you drive down the quieter zones of the motorway.

Or, when motorways are quiet, turn the things off.