Perpetual motion has intrigued the minds of many over many years. Something for nothing is what it amounts to thermodynamically. I mention it only as background to two observations from science and apparent real world behaviour.
Cats, they say, always land feet down whenever they fall from a height. I do remember seeing slow motion film of this truism, in which a cat twisted and flicked its body into the position for landing. Some of may know where this is going. The other apparent truism is that a slice of toast, especially, one with jam or marmalade, will always land, when dropped, preservative side down.
Now, what holds my amusement and sets my mind a twirl is what someone said would happen if a slice of such toast was strapped to the back of the cat, jam side up, and the combination dropped from a height. There would simply be no landing. There would be a continuous gravitational struggle between the two items. It would be perpetual motion. I just like to consider this image, which I cannot do without smile.
A recent observation when driving home from Edinburgh has caused a similar mind twirl. A now regular feature of motorways has been the construction of huge electronic notice boards, each known as a matrix. Their laudable purpose is to warn motorists of problems ahead: delays, diversions, lane closures and accidents. Often the information is a little tardy in being up to date, but when the roads are clear and not busy there is a desire to keep the motorists informed and advised.
Thus these expensive road safety feature turns into an electronic nanny, giving vital advice that you had never, ever considered. Most are too tedious to consider; you may have your own favourites for stating the obvious, which is what they tend to do too often.
The phrase that one of these huge, electronic Chinese cookies broadcast which amused me was 'AVOID DISTRACTIONS'. Apart from the obvious - gosh, avoid distractions, how have I got through 40 years of driving without that nugget.
This message to me was the verbal equivalent of the cat with breakfast strapped to its back. The advice is sound, no argument. My mind kept saying that a distraction only becomes such when it succeeds in fulfilling its definition, that is, it distracts you. If it doesn't do this, then it is not a distraction. Thus the notice was futile, concise - yes, but of no use whatsoever.
I will contend that most of these dead time messages are groanworthy, nannyish and a complete waste of resources. The advice 'Avoid Distractions' was, for me a mental distraction, a source of amusement which filled my mind for the next few miles.
If that is their game, why don't they replace their platitudes with a quiz or puzzle for which you could collect clues for from later matrices as you drive down the quieter zones of the motorway.
Or, when motorways are quiet, turn the things off.
Monday, 30 August 2010
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
A load of bull
Red Bull have made a breakthrough.
I refer not to their sponsorship in motor car racing, nor to their commitment to air races, but to their everyday customers. Red Bull energy drinks are a product that I have used, and continue to use, despite its awful colour and even worse taste, to maintain an artificial alertness when driving.
An espresso coffee, with its concentrated caffeine shot, works as well, but it is not easy to carry an espresso coffee in your car until the point you need it. This is where I find a can of Red Bull scores. It has sheer portability, even within the confines of a car.
The almost daily queuing at a supermarket checkout brings the eye into contact with all sorts of peripheral products that are their for the grabbing hands of children, bored adults and chocolate and chewing gum addicts. Among this display of goodies I have noticed Red Bull Shots, presumably what is in the cans, but in a concentrated shot. It would seem their next step would be have hypo Red Bull, conveniently ready to inject; a kind of hypo for hyper - their slogan is already written. But that is not for now.
What amuses me is the display literature. It is always very useful to have advice and suggestions on the use of various items. I am very familiar with the phrase 'serving suggestion' which is often found on various food products. They are extremely helpful. I had never before imagined serving, say, fish with peas and perhaps a few chips and, shock of shocks, on a plate. These serving suggestions have saved me from having to put food directly on the table, or arranging the food along side accompanying items, rather than in just one big heap. Yes, they can be most useful. So I found this example of Red Bull's product support a peculiar thing.
The immediate advantage to me about their shots is their small size. But where do you keep them? They are quite tiny when next to the cans. But what to do with them? Where can you put them? Red Bull have all the answers. If you need answers. But being a sort of chemical soup - check their website for the pseudo medical enhancement of their stuff - Red Bull offer not suggestions for storage but advice as if they have some scientific background. It is not an expensive sugary pink drink with a legal stimulant, but a quasi medical aid to stress and fatiguing experiences. Advice is quite different to a suggestion, I feel. With a suggestion, you might have some idea your self about what to do with something. With advice, it would seem to me that you are scratching you head, having no idea about what to do and you turn to another authority for help.
And thus we come to Red Bull's advice about where they are to be kept. Step back and read in amazement. Discount your own suggestions and past experience and read carefully the following. Here is Red Bull's advice for keeping their Red Bull Shot:
In your sports bag
In your drawer at work
In your glove box
and, are you ready for the next nugget of advice. OK, to many women this might not be as obvious as it may be to many men,
In your pocket.
Remember, this is advice thought up to help you if you really cannot think what to do with the handy sized Red Bull shot. It was probably brainstormed at a planning meeting.
Well, that's it. No more under your hat, down your sock or tied to string around your neck. Life is now perfect.
I refer not to their sponsorship in motor car racing, nor to their commitment to air races, but to their everyday customers. Red Bull energy drinks are a product that I have used, and continue to use, despite its awful colour and even worse taste, to maintain an artificial alertness when driving.
An espresso coffee, with its concentrated caffeine shot, works as well, but it is not easy to carry an espresso coffee in your car until the point you need it. This is where I find a can of Red Bull scores. It has sheer portability, even within the confines of a car.
The almost daily queuing at a supermarket checkout brings the eye into contact with all sorts of peripheral products that are their for the grabbing hands of children, bored adults and chocolate and chewing gum addicts. Among this display of goodies I have noticed Red Bull Shots, presumably what is in the cans, but in a concentrated shot. It would seem their next step would be have hypo Red Bull, conveniently ready to inject; a kind of hypo for hyper - their slogan is already written. But that is not for now.
What amuses me is the display literature. It is always very useful to have advice and suggestions on the use of various items. I am very familiar with the phrase 'serving suggestion' which is often found on various food products. They are extremely helpful. I had never before imagined serving, say, fish with peas and perhaps a few chips and, shock of shocks, on a plate. These serving suggestions have saved me from having to put food directly on the table, or arranging the food along side accompanying items, rather than in just one big heap. Yes, they can be most useful. So I found this example of Red Bull's product support a peculiar thing.
The immediate advantage to me about their shots is their small size. But where do you keep them? They are quite tiny when next to the cans. But what to do with them? Where can you put them? Red Bull have all the answers. If you need answers. But being a sort of chemical soup - check their website for the pseudo medical enhancement of their stuff - Red Bull offer not suggestions for storage but advice as if they have some scientific background. It is not an expensive sugary pink drink with a legal stimulant, but a quasi medical aid to stress and fatiguing experiences. Advice is quite different to a suggestion, I feel. With a suggestion, you might have some idea your self about what to do with something. With advice, it would seem to me that you are scratching you head, having no idea about what to do and you turn to another authority for help.
And thus we come to Red Bull's advice about where they are to be kept. Step back and read in amazement. Discount your own suggestions and past experience and read carefully the following. Here is Red Bull's advice for keeping their Red Bull Shot:
In your sports bag
In your drawer at work
In your glove box
and, are you ready for the next nugget of advice. OK, to many women this might not be as obvious as it may be to many men,
In your pocket.
Remember, this is advice thought up to help you if you really cannot think what to do with the handy sized Red Bull shot. It was probably brainstormed at a planning meeting.
Well, that's it. No more under your hat, down your sock or tied to string around your neck. Life is now perfect.
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